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Is that lysol in my wine?

Having a child with Autism is a blessing.  Having a child with Autism who has a cleaning hyper focus during a pandemic is tough.  While we want to stay aware, we find it hard to keep the TV on. Every five seconds there  is an update, saying the same thing stated earlier, but with more urgency. I can’t imagine what is going on in his mind. He’s watching his tablet for a bit and he sees a Coronavirus update… Immediately, he goes into cleaning mode. “Mom!!! It’s time to check our cleaning supply!”  I love his determination as I watch him meticulously line up his disinfectants and carefully read each ingredient label. The running commentary sounds like this, “ Well, Lysol kills Human Coronavirus, I’ll use that… for handles and counter tops- gotta let it sit for at least 5-10 minutes.  Clorox… yep, I can use that in the bathrooms.” Spic and Span, doesn’t say it, but it has a good smell…I’ll use that for the floors.” 

 I am in the middle of cleaning up dinner dishes and had moved my wine glass to the middle of the counter.  I see out of the corner of my eye a gloved hand spraying the counter… wine glass and all. “Jimmy, did you just spray Lysol in my wine?!”   “Well, mom, at least your wine won’t have the Coronavirus.” 

He knows from recent experience how much  it sucks to have people we love to be sick, and his incredibly big heart hopes to prevent others from having illness.  Jimmy told me his mission in life is to prevent the Coronavirus in the United States.. And the world. We started by not hoarding toilet paper  in our house during Spring Break, but by visiting our church camp. Granted, I knew there would be no one there, but I could not just hole up in the house.  What I had in mind was petting the horses, hiking the trails, and saying prayers in all the special places that I felt God’s immeasurable love envelop me as a young person.  But Jimmy’s mission for this adventure, which I don’t always have privy to as we embark on a new adventure, was to “radcate” Corona virus from Camp. So we pet the horses, cleaned part of a stall, and visited with Philip and Janet, who answered 2,345 questions in the first hour,  and visited one of my special places. We spent most of our time focused on his passion. With every building we went into, he found cleaning equipment and cleaned with a determination and focus that should inspire Martha… Stewart and Martha in the gospels.  

I might have had a few moments of complete frustration with my beloved boy because my plan of our camp experience was not met. Yes, indeed, I had my own agenda.  When I would feel about to lose my cool, God provided a moment of grace, from a simple breeze striking my senses with a sweet smell of the blooming wildflowers or a memory of a moment of grace afforded to me when I was not the ideal camper or friend humbled me to remember- It isn’t always about me. 

“When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun, O Lord, Have mercy on me.”

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Psalm 121 Reflection

Psalm 121
I lift my eyes up to the hills;
From where is my help to come?
I look ahead, I look beside me on every turn,and all I see is the dirt I am grasping under my nails. I am in the depths of circumstance and turmoil of today’s trouble. I don’t know where to look, but up, because I am humbled, hurting, weak, frail. About to give into despair, I cry out, “Help! I feel alone. The odds are against me. I don’t know how to fix this for me. I can’t fix my hurting child. I can’t control these things. Please, You are all I know- Are you there? What are you waiting for? DO SOMETHING!! I just want to know you see me. I sob for what seems like hours. Exhausted, I fall into a heap- and wait. A voice sighs. It is not my own, but a soft and strong voice I know immediately. “Erin, I am with you. Look up. I am beyond the dust. I watch over you day and night. I keep you safe from things you don’t even know are there. I see you under the light of the sun I created that wakes you in the morn, and I look upon you as you look up to see what phase the moon is in each night. I fill your lungs with strength on every breath you deeply inhale as you parent the child I entrusted you with. I take the burdens you release with each exhalation. I hold you and all you hold dear in my mighty palm. Rest there in quiet confidence. Erin, I AM with you for evermore.”

Hello world!

Welcome! So glad to meet you on this fine evening. Congrats! We made it through the challenges of the day! Today was good. I bought soup, crackers and 7 Up for my husband suffering from a sinus infection. He did a fantastic job of warming up his own soup. I got my son to school EARLY! I found grace in a hospital where my mother in law is getting better every moment. We watched the Talk and I didn’t recognize Sharon Osbourne… or really any of the ladies… but Steven Weber- I still have a crush on you. My son took me on a tour of his school for the Open House, introducing me to every teacher in every grade, who gave an example of how JP brings joy to them every single day. #WIN